Top 5 questions I have answered at least a hundred times and will repeatedly bang my head against the wall if I hear them once more:
1. You know, they've figured out what causes this, right?
Why no, I hadn't heard that. Please, explain it to me and while you're at it can you show me an awkward video designed for prepubescent fourth graders?
2. Do you need anything?
Well, I am having a baby. I need diapers. And wipes. And ointment. And sleep. Among other things.
3. When are you having your tubes tied?
I may answer this question after you share with me your next intimately personal medical detail. I might even send flowers.
4. Will you keep trying for a boy?
Well, we weren't exactly trying for another girl. Or a dinosaur. Or anything at all really. Sometimes, God just wants you to have a baby. And if He wants me to have four girls, I really am good with that. And so is The Man. Beyond that, it's nobody's business. End of story.
5. How do you feel?
This is where I will stare at you blankly while internally debating whether or not to directly lie and utter a feeble, "Fine," or to unleash the ungodly variety of maladies I am facing on that particular day, making you wish you had never asked in the first place. Really. It's okay to assume I feel terrible. I am 38 1/2 weeks pregnant so what do you expect? Just tell me I look cute or that I'm positively glowing. (After all, I did manage to take a shower and drag myself out of the house.) Even if I'm not. I promise it will make my day.
I swear, I did have my coffee today. I just really want to have this baby. Like yesterday. I am unimaginably thrilled to welcome Numero Quatro to our family. I am eternally grateful that the serious complications have resolved themselves and while we are still experiencing "hiccups" along the way, our sweet baby is healthy and whole and will make her appearance very soon. Could there be anything more delightfully rewarding than a houseful of pretty pink princesses?
Bring it on, Baby. We are ready for you!
Love & Coffee.
"When a woman gives birth, she has a hard time, there’s no getting around it. But when the baby is born, there is joy in the birth. This new life in the world wipes out memory of the pain."
John 16.21 (MSG)
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